You are currently viewing Why do I get so angry? Learn the Foundations of Emotional Intelligence in English

Why do I get so angry? Learn the Foundations of Emotional Intelligence in English

Language acquisition is an ever-evolving process that extends far beyond mere grammar rules and vocabulary. While these fundamental aspects are undoubtedly important, the mastery of a language, such as English, transcends the mechanics and delves into the realm of soft skills. Building strong interpersonal communication skills not only enhances our ability to connect with others but also serves as a remarkable pathway towards achieving advanced proficiency in any language.

Written with love by: Suzanne Pilch, ICF Certified Coach & MPEC Partner

Glossary of Key Terms from our webinar ‘Why do I get so angry’

Introduction (5min):

  1. Emotional Intelligence: The ability to recognise, understand, and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others.
  2. Vulnerability: Being open and willing to share personal experiences and emotions without fear of judgment or criticism.
  3. Reflection: Taking time to think deeply and introspectively about a particular experience or topic.
  4. Connection: The establishment of a bond or relationship based on shared experiences or understanding.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence (10 min):

  1. Self-awareness: The ability to recognize and understand one’s own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and triggers.
  2. Self-regulation: The ability to manage and control one’s emotions, especially in challenging situations.
  3. Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of others.
  4. Social skills: The ability to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and build positive relationships with others.
  5. Triggers: Events, situations, or circumstances that can provoke or ignite anger.
  6. Conflict: A disagreement or clash between individuals or groups.
  7. Well-being: The state of being comfortable, healthy, and happy.

Exploring the Reasons Behind Excessive Anger (10 min):

  1. Excessive anger: Intense or heightened anger that is beyond what is considered normal or expected.
  2. Assertive: Communicating one’s needs, wants, or feelings in a direct and respectful manner.
  3. Constructive: Positive, helpful, and productive in nature.

Practical Strategies for Managing and Expressing Emotions (10 min):

  1. Deep breathing exercises: Techniques that involve taking slow, deep breaths to activate the body’s relaxation response and reduce the intensity of anger.
  2. Journaling: The practice of writing down thoughts and feelings as a way to gain clarity, process emotions, and explore underlying causes.
  3. Solution Focused Coaching: An approach that helps individuals shift their focus from problems to desired outcomes and solutions, encouraging growth, resilience, and progress.
  4. Active listening: A fundamental skill that involves fully engaging and understanding others’ perspectives, fostering empathy and effective communication.

Dig Deeper: Further Resources for You

Reading Recommendations

If you enjoyed the topic of our webinar, you should know that it was based mainly on the work of Daniel Goleman’s described in his excellent book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” . We really recommend that you read it! If you are looking for similar books that delve into the topic of emotional intelligence and its importance, check out the reading list below. These books offer valuable insights and practical guidance on developing emotional intelligence, enhancing self-awareness, improving relationships, and leveraging emotions for personal and professional growth. Enjoy exploring these titles!

Top Books to explore Emotional Intelligence in English:

  • “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves: This book provides a practical guide for improving emotional intelligence through self-assessment, strategies, and exercises.
  • “Working with Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman: In this follow-up to his first book, Goleman explores the role of emotional intelligence in the workplace and how it impacts leadership, decision-making, and team dynamics.
  • “The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book” by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves: This condensed guide offers key concepts and strategies from emotional intelligence research, providing practical advice for enhancing your EQ.
  • “The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationships” by Jeanne Segal: This book focuses on developing the language and skills needed to express and understand emotions effectively, leading to better relationships and personal growth.
  • “The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success” by Steven J. Stein and Howard E. Book: This book explores the connection between emotional intelligence and success in various domains, including relationships, career, and personal well-being.
  • “The Power of Emotional Intelligence” by Dan Goleman and Others: This compilation features selected articles from experts in the field, covering topics such as empathy, self-awareness, leadership, and social intelligence.
  • “Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Emotions and Raising Your EQ” by James W. Williams: This practical guide offers insights and exercises to develop emotional intelligence, enhance self-awareness, and cultivate healthier emotional relationships.
  • “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child” by John Gottman and Joan DeClaire: This book focuses on how parents can foster emotional intelligence in their children, emphasising the importance of empathy, self-regulation, and social skills.
  • “The Emotionally Intelligent Manager: How to Develop and Use the Four Key Emotional Skills of Leadership” by David R. Caruso and Peter Salovey: This book explores the application of emotional intelligence in leadership and provides practical strategies for becoming an emotionally intelligent manager.
  • “Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman: In this book, Goleman examines the role of emotional intelligence in effective leadership, discussing how leaders can cultivate and apply emotional intelligence skills to drive success.

Top Books to explore Anger Management in English:

There are several pivotal books on anger management that provide valuable insights, strategies, and techniques for understanding and effectively managing anger. Here are some noteworthy titles:

  1. “Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames” by Thich Nhat Hanh: This book offers mindfulness-based approaches to understanding and transforming anger, providing practical tools for self-reflection, communication, and cultivating compassion.
  2. “The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships” by Harriet Lerner: Written specifically for women, this book explores the role of anger in relationships and offers guidance on expressing anger constructively, setting boundaries, and fostering healthier connections.
  3. “Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion” by Carol Tavris: Tavris delves into the complex nature of anger, debunking common misconceptions and providing insights into the origins and expression of anger. The book offers practical strategies for managing anger effectively.
  4. “The Anger Workbook: An Interactive Guide to Anger Management” by Les Carter and Frank Minirth: This workbook provides exercises, assessments, and techniques to help individuals understand the underlying causes of their anger and develop practical strategies for anger management.
  5. “When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within” by Matthew McKay, Peter D. Rogers, and Judith McKay: This book combines behavioural techniques with mindfulness practices to help individuals understand and manage their anger, promoting healthier emotional responses.
  6. “Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way” by Gary Chapman: Chapman explores the dynamics of anger, its impact on relationships, and practical steps for managing anger constructively. The book emphasises communication, forgiveness, and empathy as key components of anger management.
  7. “Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames” by William DeFoore: DeFoore presents a comprehensive guide to anger management, addressing various aspects of anger, including triggers, physiological responses, and effective communication. The book offers tools and exercises for transforming anger into personal growth.
  8. “Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life” by Thomas J. Harbin: Written specifically for men, this book explores the societal pressures and expectations that contribute to anger in men. It offers practical strategies for emotional regulation and developing healthier coping mechanisms.

How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?

First of all, here is a test you can take to gauge your emotional intelligence:

Here is a great video if you want to explore the steps you can take to develop your emotional intelligence over time:

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