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The 36 Questions to Fall in Love – An Experiment in Deep Connection

Have you ever heard of the “36 Questions to Fall in Love” experiment? Created by psychologist Arthur Aron, this experiment was originally designed to explore whether two strangers could form a deep emotional connection simply by answering a series of increasingly personal questions. The concept is simple: sharing vulnerabilities and intimate experiences can foster a sense of closeness and mutual trust.

The 36 Questions

The experiment is divided into three sets, each containing twelve questions that gradually increase in intimacy. The questions range from “Would you like to be famous? In what way?” to “What is your most treasured memory?” and “When did you last cry in front of another person?” The sequence is designed to facilitate a progressive personal opening, creating an environment of trust and connection.

The Neuroscience Behind This Experiment

From a neuroscientific perspective, the 36 questions experiment leverages attachment mechanisms and brain chemistry. When we share personal and vulnerable details, our brain releases oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone” or “trust hormone.” Oxytocin plays a key role in forming social bonds and increases our ability to trust others. Additionally, the experience of being heard and understood activates neural circuits associated with reward and pleasure, further reinforcing the connection between people.

Using It in Team Building

Now, imagine applying this experiment in a team building or team coaching context. It might seem a bit unconventional at first, but the same dynamics that create intimacy between two individuals can be incredibly effective for building trust and collaboration within a workgroup. Here’s how:

  1. Building Trust: When team members share their experiences and personal thoughts, it creates an environment of openness and transparency. This can break down barriers and build a sense of mutual trust, essential for an effective team.
  2. Improving Communication: Answering personal questions requires active listening and empathetic understanding, crucial skills for effective communication. Team members learn to express themselves clearly and listen attentively.

Fostering Collaboration: Knowing your colleagues better helps in seeing their perspectives and working together more harmoniously. Sharing experiences and feelings creates stronger bonds, facilitating collaboration.

Creating a Positive Environment: A team that knows each other well is more likely to support one another. Understanding personal motivations and challenges can create a more positive and supportive work environment.


The 36 Questions experiment is more than just a conversation starter. It is a powerful tool for building authentic connections, whether between two people or within a team. If you’re looking for ways to improve trust, communication, and collaboration in your workgroup, why not try these questions? You might find that the keys to a more united and productive team are just a question away.

Download The 36 Questions and Try Them With Your Team!